Sabrina - Goddess of The Severn, Could Lead a Man to Hell or Heaven, A Play by Geoff Speechly

MUSIC

Narrator

In times gone by the Romans came
To Sunny Shropshire: such their fame
That when they besieged an English Town
Such as Round Acton as then 'twas known

They would attack by trebuchet,
(We'd call it catapult today)
And if the place held out far too long
And food would go right off and pong
They'd fling dead horses o'er the wall
To make things worse - and the town would fall

Today the Squire obeys tradition
And uses pigs as ammunition
We'll tell this tale to you astound
So enjoy the myth of Acton Round

I must confess that Bridgnorth too
Partakes in our historic view
We weave our cloth from these two places
Our Muse's unlikely belt and braces…

Sabrina, Goddess of the Severn,
Could lead a man to hell or heaven
But if she loved him, though she'd cry
That mortal man was doomed to die.

I - The Roman

Narrator

The Romans came, with sword and law
And taught crude Britons soon the score
They worshipped gods like Zeus - and meaner
But at Bridgnorth they found - Sabrina !
MUSIC

Legionnaire

We must have marched a thousand leagues
To conquer this benighted spot
What would I give for a cup of wine
Or a lusty wench that's really hot !

Sabrina

A goodly sight, this Roman chap
I'll see if I can catch his eye
And if the audience doesn't clap
I'll grab him, love him - and he'll die !

Legionnaire

O Bacchus ! What a wondrous sight !
Is it a wench or a dream I see ?

Sabrina

O, I'm a maid, I'll prove this night
Come Roman man :I'll set you free !

SHE KISSES HIM AND HE DIES - IN FUTURE RECORDED AS K & D

II - The Saxon

Narrator

The Saxons came in time of yore
And plundered us from shore to shore
And they were pretty rough ; none meaner
There's not a doubt they met Sabrina….

MUSIC

Saxon

What have we here ? Another town.
For sacking and for pulling down
We'll burn the place and kill the men
Destroy the cock but keep the hen!

Sabrina

O rude uncultured Saxon beast
I'll see you soon regret this feast
For Bridgnorth maids and Bridgnorth men
Sabrina's spell will work again

Saxon

Great balls of fire ! A hefty wench
This dish I'll taste without a wrench
Come lass, let's frolick in the hay
You'll not forget this joyful day !

Sabrina

I'll frolick, friend, but you're the one
Who nevermore will see the sun
K & D

III - The Dane

Narrator

In former times, despite the rain
Our city fair was taxed by Dane
And though their habits were much cleaner
We know for sure they met Sabrina

MUSIC

Dane

Now what's this place ? They call it Quatt !
The name's a mess, I like it not
Our taxmen now will sally forth
Across the bridge to south and north

Sabrina

This fellow's dull compared to Saxon
He calls himself a Danish Taxman
Ah, well, though I won't be hasty
Let's tempt him with an English pastry!

Dane

O Woden ! What is this I see?
A vision yet untaxed by me !
I'll take her measure, scribe her rune

Sabrina

You're right, my Dane, come take my boon !
K & D

IV - The Norman

Narrator

In elevenhundredand twenty-two
Which Acton Rounders e'er will rue
The Normans came and built their keep
And tried to turn us all to sheep

MUSIC

Norman

We brought our culture to this land
Rude English habits we have banned
Now Lords and Ladies served by serf
Can all enjoy our Norman earth

Sabrina

These Norman gangsters must be humbled
Methinks his tongue of "ladies" stumbled
Let's see if ancient English lore
Tonight our honour can restore…

Norman

Mon Dieu! Quelle beauty do I see
Ma chėre, what luck you've met with me !

Sabrina

Indeed your fortune's doubly blessed
Now I'm the host and you're the guest!
K & D


V - The Welshman

Narrator

O'er centuries in mist enveiled
The Marches dripped with blood; impaled
On Welsh ambition our English town
Became a field of battle and renown
MUSIC AND LEEK

Welshman

By Cardiff, Anglesey or Rhyll
Never before did my heart thrill
To see so soft an English village
Ripe-ready for Welsh guile and pillage

Sabrina

The cheeky Celt! How dare he gloat
Before he's even crossed my moat
I'll tease him, be so coy and meek
And then I'll parboil up his leek !

Welshman

By Llanfairfechan and Glendower
I've never seen so fine a flower
Come, English Maid, and be my love
I think you're sent from heaven above

Sabrina

Oh yes, my little laverbread
One kiss - and then you'll find you're dead !
K & D

VI- The Roundheads

Narrator

In sixteenhundredandfortysix
In Parliament, by knavish tricks
Our sovereign lord quite lost his head
And Cromwell took his place instead

MUSIC

Roundhead

These Royalist dogs and their cold bitches
With Papist plots, warlocks and witches
Shall now the power of Cromwell feel
With Roundhead flesh and Roundhead steel

Sabrina

This fellow's pretty hot, he thinks
He'll get no favours from this minx
Or rather if he dares to touch
He'll burn from fingernail to crutch

Roundhead

Come lass, forget your bonnie Charlie
Now with a real man you'll parley

Sabrina

O Soldier brave, you little know
Just quite how far this wench will go
K & D

VII - The Cavaliers

Narrator

In course of time, the good Lord willed
That Ironsides' ardour should be chilled
So Cavaliers now roamed the land
And freedom reigned, naught more was banned.

MUSIC

Cavalier

By Royal command I've ridden far
Please show me to the nearest bar,
I'm thirsty and uncommon dusty
Just find for me a girl that's lusty !

Sabrina

Whether their heads are round or Royal
There's but one thing that makes them boil
I'll not object to a little loan
But me they'll never call their own

Cavalier

Fair lady! Let me but now thy praises sing
And I will grant thee everything
I'll bring you lutes and daffodils
If you would only cure my ills

Sabrina

Such honey'd words his lips have passed
'Tis such a pity they're his last !
K & D - VERY LONG !- I SIGH AND "'ave you done ?"

VIII - The Irish

Narrator

In eighteenhundredand sixtytwo
The Railway came, the town pierced through
And snorting trains with fiery funnel
Rushed proudly through the newbuilt tunnel

MUSIC

Irishman

My name is O'Malley and I came to dig
Not to roister or rampage: although the jig
Which I dance on a Saturday night is fine
When I ravish their women and drink up their wine

Sabrina

Here's importunate Dublin and confident Cork
And sometimes there's action as well as the talk
But they'd better take care if they tangle with me
I'll not be seduced by a riddle-me-ree

Irishman

Oh look at the beauty of this Bridgnorth maid
The glory and ecstasy of how she is made!
My dear English darling, my heart's at your feet
I crave but a kiss, like the soup before meat!

Sabrina

A kiss you shall have, but hungry you'll be
For no more will you taste the sweet joys of Tralee
K &D

IX- The Airman

Narrator

In nineteenhundredand forty two
At Stanmore trained the boys in blue
They came from every land and nation
And Bridgnorth was their comfort station

MUSIC

The Airman

Saturday night, a forty-eight
Don't miss the bus or we'll be late
The pubs are open, the girls are willing
I'm glad I took the Sovereign's shilling.

Sabrina

They may be rough at times I know
But when to war the lads must go,
They do deserve a little fun
Before they face the horrid Hun.

The Airman

Good heavens! Miss, you're quite the best!
You're even better than Mae West!

Sabrina

Farewell, my friend, away you fly
Not from my lips will I send you die
I must be getting sentimental
I though he was, though rough, quite gentle

WAVES AIRMAN AWAY

X-The Tatung

Narrator

From cleverness born in the East
In Low Town grew a powerful beast
Where once the peasants listless hung
To Bridgnorth came- and later went - Tatung

MUSIC
Enter Tatung - singing/humming to Walkman;
Narrator - TURN OFF THAT
FIENDISH WALKMAN !

Tatung

This occidental place is strange
They do not know our latest range
And if a salaryman feels randy
All he can do is dream with brandy

Sabrina

It's sad our friends from the Pacific
Now have gone - but it’s terrific
That they're not really far abroad
But ten miles north to great Telford

EXIT TATUNG WITH ORIENTAL BOW
XI-The Tourist

Narrator

In nineteen hundredandeightyfive
Bridgnorth really came alive
Divorced from juggernaut and truck
Relying on part skill, part luck
The Bypassmen did pass us by
And tourists now to us do fly

MUSIC

The Tourist

I am the Tourist, last of all
Now to Sabrina's wiles I'll fall
Will she accept me ? What must I give ?
Can I but love her, and still live ?

Sabrina

Yes sir, you can; the others' mistake
Was never to give but only to take
So welcome, Stranger, come to my arms
And I will enfold you in my charms.

THEY KISS………ETC ETC ETC ETC…………………………….…

MUSIC

ALL 3

So friends, you've heard our wondrous story
This land is part of England's glory
So join with us this lovely day
And shout aloud Hurray - Hurray !

(c) Geoff Speechly, Nov 2008